You made me cry and you don't even care
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
