All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
worst night to have a conscience
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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