I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
