Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
