oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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