you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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