How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
