i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
