why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
