So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
