Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
