he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
