am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
