I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize