I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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