So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
