He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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