so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
