i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
