the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
