I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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