A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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