he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
