Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
People in love make me want to vomit
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize