I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
