I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
