i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
