WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize