There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We are two peas in an std pod
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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