That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
