Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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