You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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