My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
