Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
how does that bad decision feel?
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