How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
