My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
