hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
