we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
