Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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