when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
