..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
