I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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