I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize