A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
