Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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