You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
