Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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