Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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