So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize