There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
