I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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