she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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