love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
