very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
