hotel room ftw
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
