when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
