Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
