Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
