Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
