Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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