How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
