Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
