is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
