You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
