Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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