You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He kissed a someone with a penis
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
