A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
