I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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