In America we eat man semen.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i think im in europe. pls send help
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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