I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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