So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's never too late to be topless.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
