OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
