ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You're like the curious george of whores
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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