Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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