Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
