Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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